When I meet someone new, I am usually the quiet one. I prefer to sit back and observe and let the
other person do the talking. In my head
I am gauging how much of myself I will reveal to them. Some of the most unattractive features that
cause me to disassociate with another person are arrogance, ignorance,
pessimism and drama. These features are
all the opposite of my character. I
think arrogance can make even the most attractive person ugly. I shy away from people who have a “woe is me”
attitude or have a lot of personal drama in their lives and feel the need to
share it with everyone. I find that the
majority of my time I have a gut instinct about someone, and have almost always
proved my instincts to be true when I have ignored the red flags I see in
people. I agree with Steve Duck’s
filtering theory. The majority of
relationships in my life have resulted from mutual friends, neighbors, or the
workplace. I don’t usually judge someone
on their physical appearance, but do make a first impression based on our
interaction and what they reveal of themselves to me. And I find that with people that the
conversation does not tend to flow and there are awkward silences, I tend to
start avoiding them at all costs. It is
absolutely possible to eliminate a person based on one cue only to reconsider
them based on another. I have a
co-worker that I have always had a good banter with and find him attractive but
eliminated the possibility of a relationship immediately because I don’t like
to date people that I work with.
However, every day at work I feel myself reconsidering the possibility
based on our interaction. We have a
wonderful, sarcastic witty banter every day that I look forward to.
Dear Missy,
ReplyDeleteI would caution against the workplace romantic relationship. I could be wrong, and it could work for the best, but if I am wrong and things don’t work out it makes the workplace a dread to go to. If you like your job, walk slowly and weigh the options.
On the class aspect of this discussion, I am usually the chatty one in a conversation. I like to talk to people, but you are right, those awkward silences in a newly forming relationship are sometimes hard to overcome. I like to think that I am the type of person that comes across at a good person, and fun to hang out with. I like to think that I am not a drama queen, but when there is drama, I tend to be the person that others like to go to and vent their dramas. So, my question is, does this make me a drama queen.
You made some excellent points. I am the same way when it comes to meeting new people, I am usually the reserved and quiet one however I feel that I make good judgements on others. Like you explained your relationship with your co worker, I sometimes feel as though I can be too quick to judge others on a first encounter and therefor I ususally eliminate them immediately but than realize I was wrong, so I try not to judge others too quickly. I am the same way about awkward silences. I feel it might be because we both tend to like others to lead the conversation that we don't mesh well with others who are similar to us.
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