Social Isolation

One of the topics in Chapter 11 this week that I enjoyed reading about was how the internet can lead to social isolation.  I see this some nights in my family, where I have one kid on Xbox Live, one kid on our Kindle, while I scroll through Facebook on my phone.  We tend to retreat to our rooms, or conversational becomes minimal as we become absorbed in our own worlds.  It is interesting how in the text it talked about in the 1950’s and 1960’s the television was introduced as a way of bringing people together.  Now, with the availability of multiple televisions in one home as well as the DVR, more families are watching TV in their own room so that they can watch their own selection of shows.  I definitely feel that with email and texting being so prominent in our worlds now, it takes away from the face to face conversations we all used to have.  I often find that I would rather just send someone an email or text to avoid having to see them in person or picking up the phone and calling them.  What happened to 20 years ago when I could talk for hours on the phone with my friends??

The Medium is the Message

I would definitely agree with Marshall McLuhan that “the medium is the message”.  I read on a web page about Justin Bieber, a popular teenage singer who is practically a household name in every home across the world.  Without the internet, radio or TV, Justin Bieber would not exist to most of us.  He would be a part of the world, but would not be as popular as he is without the medium that got him to where he is.

Most business can attribute their financial success to selecting the right medium and what they choose to broadcast through that medium.  For some business, it makes more sense to network through social networking sites such as Facebook or Twitter.  For others it could be a website or television commercial.  It depends on how large of a market you want to reach.

I agree with Marshall that TV is a cool medium; it require more than one single sense to interpret and depends on the viewer to fill in the gaps with meaning.  It requires a great deal of interaction as the viewer must participate more in order to perceive the gaps in the content.

Friendships in Cyberspace

I did have a friendship that was exclusively through cyberspace.  We actually knew each other when we were little but I do not remember him as an adult.  We talked primarily through texting or Facebook chat, never on the telephone or in person.  This relationship was different from face to face relationships because he didn’t know me in person and didn’t know what I look like today so I felt there was no judgment in how I have aged or how much I weigh.  It was nice to be able to say whatever I wanted, whenever and have the control to end the friendship at any time if I ever felt uncomfortable.  I ultimately did end the friendship when he started saying things I felt were inappropriate and did not sit well with me.  I watched an incredible movie called “Catfish” which was about a guy’s journey to meet a girl face to face that he had a relationship with online.  It turned out she was not at all who she presented herself to be and the relationship he was having was actually with her mother.  It is very interesting to see how people can hide their “true selves” behind their phone or computer and present themselves as the person that they want to be.

Typical Interview Questions

One of my favorite topics this week was the Typical Interview Questions (Table 8.4).  Due to the economy, I have been laid off from several jobs over the past 8 years and have been to numerous interviews.  I am to the point of feeling comfortable in interviews and have prepared responses in my head.  I know what responses are received well due to reactions I have received in previous interviews.  I also for the first time in my life have started conducting interviews at my current place of employment.  I love how empowering it feels to be on the opposite side of the table and my high level of expectations I have from the interviewee.  I watch for body language, if they have a level of arrogance, how well spoken they are, etc.  One of my favorite questions we ask the person we are interviewing is if they feel that they are lucky.  It is amazing how some people come right out and say no, not at all….while others say they are.  One of the more favorite answers is when they say they would not describe themselves as lucky but fortunate.  When I asked the candidate at the last interview I conducted, he stated that he is very blessed.  We offered him the job the same day!

Etiquette

I agree with all of the rules of etiquette in our textbook this week.  Cell phones should be used for business purposes or personal use, and there is a time and place when it is appropriate.  It is never appropriate at dinner or a movie theater or especially during church.  Answering machine messages should be short, professional and to the point.  You never know who is going to be leaving you a message, whether it is a college buddy or a potential employer.  I have been on several conference calls where it is important to identify yourself when you speak so that everyone knows who is speaking as you don’t have the face to face interaction or voice recognition that you would at meetings in a conference room.  I always communicate in the workplace during normal work hours and do not call anyone’s cell phone early in the morning or in the evening.  I often send an email before I leave work and usually come to work in the morning and find a response in my email inbox.  And lastly, it is especially important not to use silly user names or ring tones, especially in the office.  We use instant messaging in my office and we use our names and all of the cell phones pretty much have the same iPhone ring to them.

I am thoroughly annoyed by people who insist on talking on their cell phones in public places.  I have found myself thoroughly frustrated when people hold personal phone calls in line at the post office, at the checkout at the grocery store, at their desk at work or driving in traffic in front of me.  I feel that call waiting is very rude and is like being interrupted which is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Unless you get a phone call while you are expecting an important call, I think it is okay to warn the person that you may have to end the call because you were waiting for an important call but that you will call them back right away.

Organizations

Organizations are tied to the environment for many reasons.  They utilize natural resources to operate their business.  They create jobs in the city where they reside and perhaps in other cities for employees who telecommute.  They increase business for surrounding business when employees visit their establishments to put gas in their car or to eat on their lunch break.  The relationship between Sierra College and the city of Rocklin is that it provides jobs, culture, clubs and affiliations, or residency to students from near and far.  Fairness, honesty and integrity are key values in organizations that serve as mission statements that define their operations.  I believe it is the moral obligation of a college or university to foster the education of students and potential students and to give back to the community.  They have an obligation to offer financial aid to those that qualify, and award scholarships to those that are deserving.

Retreat From Intimacy

One of the sections in Chapter 6 in our textbook that I found most interesting this week was the section on “The Retreat from Intimacy”.  Having been through a divorce, I could really identify with the various stages.  I think the differentiating stage slowly happened over time, and especially after we had kids.  It stopped being “we” and became “you” and “me”.  We really started to live separate lives under the same roof.  In the circumscribing stage, we would disagree and then not talk about why we disagreed because we were just tired of fighting.  This of course led to the stagnating stage where we ended up with one person sleeping on the couch and the other in the bedroom and only speaking when necessary.  By the time we reached the avoiding stage, we were taking separate vacations without even asking each other permission.  And of course, at the termination stage we separated and later filed for divorced, realizing the relationship had completely dissolved and was not repairable.  I have gone thru a similar stage with a friend recently, and went through most of these same stages.  However, we never reached the terminating stage and were able to come back together again and reconcile.  I couldn’t be happier!

Filters

When I meet someone new, I am usually the quiet one.  I prefer to sit back and observe and let the other person do the talking.  In my head I am gauging how much of myself I will reveal to them.  Some of the most unattractive features that cause me to disassociate with another person are arrogance, ignorance, pessimism and drama.  These features are all the opposite of my character.  I think arrogance can make even the most attractive person ugly.  I shy away from people who have a “woe is me” attitude or have a lot of personal drama in their lives and feel the need to share it with everyone.  I find that the majority of my time I have a gut instinct about someone, and have almost always proved my instincts to be true when I have ignored the red flags I see in people.  I agree with Steve Duck’s filtering theory.  The majority of relationships in my life have resulted from mutual friends, neighbors, or the workplace.  I don’t usually judge someone on their physical appearance, but do make a first impression based on our interaction and what they reveal of themselves to me.  And I find that with people that the conversation does not tend to flow and there are awkward silences, I tend to start avoiding them at all costs.  It is absolutely possible to eliminate a person based on one cue only to reconsider them based on another.  I have a co-worker that I have always had a good banter with and find him attractive but eliminated the possibility of a relationship immediately because I don’t like to date people that I work with.  However, every day at work I feel myself reconsidering the possibility based on our interaction.  We have a wonderful, sarcastic witty banter every day that I look forward to.