Dysfunctional Patterns

Of the three patterns in role relations described in the textbook, I think that competitive symmetry would be the most difficult to change.  People who are competitive or fight for the one- up position have a hard time stepping down from this role.  Anything less than “winning” feels like a failure and defeat.  I think the stress would definitely put a strain on the relationship and both parties could start to harbor resentment.  I think the pattern that is most damaging to a relationship as well as the self-esteem of the individuals involved is the rigid complementary pattern.  This gives one person control in the relationship or the “advantage” so to speak, while the other person is submissive and harbors resentment and fear.  I think this pattern is typical in many abusive relationships.  Often one partner seems to have control over the other, and the opposite partner is submissive out of fear and withdraws and becomes dissatisfied with the relationship.